Merry Christmas!! =P (Totally unrelated)

Gargh. This is passed on from Yi Ling. Anyway, I don't feel so good right now, after some particularly sour wine. Red wine is so much nicer (and expensive). So don't be disappointed if I'm a little (or a lot) crabby.


Now I've got that over with, here goes:

Would you rather lose your vision or your hearing?

♥_As with Yap, I love reading and I love music. But then there are audiobooks and braille. You can't READ music. Besides, I just bought me a new guitar, so duh, I'll keep my hearing, thanks.

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If you could create your own store, and sell anything in the world, what would you sell?

♥_Interesting...hmmmmmmm......................


Good Stephanie says: "I'd sell happiness! Then everyone will be happy and none of them will come and annoy me. I'd find a miracle cure for all ailments and sell them all!!! ...For a substantial amount of money, of course."

Bad Stephanie says: "Of course I'd sell CDs. I was BORN to sell CDs. But I'd substitute System of a Down, The Click Five, bloody Destiny's Child and other so-called artistes' CDs with brainwashing mantras. Then the WHOLE world will listen to the same music as I do. We'd have SO much in common. We'd all listen to Linkin Park, Marilyn Manson, Incubus, Green Day, Nirvana and Nine Inch Nails. Oh, and Britney, of course."

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If you were the King or Queen of the World, and your first task was to restructure the school systems, what would you do?

♥_I /heart/ this question. For one thing, NO MORE SCHOOLS. Duh.


I'd get the world's top scientists to gather all the important information that everyone NEEDS to know ---like why you should never dye your hair (it's tacky and kills your hair) or how to skateboard--- and store it in a microchip.
   
From then on, every baby that is born will have this chip implanted in their brain, so that they don't have to waste a decade in school. Then everyone will be smart, AND happy, AND can spend their time doing healthier activities, like moshing at the next Incubus concert.

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Imagine that you find a remote control with a big red PAUSE button. You hit the button and time stops. Around you, clocks stop, the wind freezes, everyone stops dead in their tracks. If you throw a ball it will travel about a meter from you and then hang suspended in space and time. You continue to pass through time normally, however, needing to eat, use the bathroom, etc. -- and of course, getting older. What would you do with a little bit of uninterrupted, unlimited time? (Of course, everyone is frozen, so mischief is possible as well -- if you are so inclined!)

♥_Yay! If only...if only...


1. Give everyone wedgies! It's fun. =D
2. Take a piece of charcoal and doodle on people's faces. Like how Edmund did in the Chronicles of Narnia.
3. "Borrow" money from all the fat-ass, non-deserving celebrities and buy pressies for EVERYONE!!
4. Read people's diaries.
5. Release all the poor tortured animals from abusive homes. (awwww) But wait, if they're frozen, they can't run, can they?
6. Grab all the CDs I want. Come ON, it takes only 2 ringgit max producing cost for CDs, it's SUCH a rip-off to charge us 40 over bucks for a piece of plastic.
7. /Get rid/ of terrorists. I'd dedicate my time ridding the world of the evil people who are slowly taking over your mind, body and soul.
...Such as Lindsay Lohan.
8. Burn next year's test papers. (mwahahahahaha)
9. Treat myself to a couple eat-all-you-can sessions at my favourite restaurants.
10. Brainwash everyone (again) and make them blog. Properly. =P Then we'd all be happy with so many nice blogs to read. =D
11. Walk over to Yap's house and get my Photoshop CD back. =P Nah, I'm just teasing ya.

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By the way, Merry belated Christmas to everyone! =)
Update:
Yi Ling's version can be found here.
J.L.W.Y.'s version can be found here.

The verdict...

Well, that's it.
I'm screwed.
It's the end of my life.
I'd like to thank all those who stood by me in the hard times (well, that's actually NO ONE) and gave me their unconditional moral support.


You know what? I should probably jump off a bridge or something.
I'd like to make my will before I do that though:
My sci-fi books shall go to Siew Lei.
My classics shall go to Sabrina.
All my other books shall go to Nurul.
To my sister, all my socks, for your sock collection.
To Yi Ling, my camera.
To Jun Yan, my gameboy and all its cartridges.
To Shan Shan, my lip gloss and any beauty products, used or unused.
To Brandon, my Nike Watch. (Even though it's feminine, it suits you)
To Rohan, my new set of colouring pencils and any art tools you want.
To Lakshmi, all my sweets and chocolates.
To Irene, my CD collection.
To Flea (Jamie), my Neopets account and any neopoints, assets, and pets that go along with it.
(And no, my guitar and iPod shall be buried with me, no one can have them)
And to anyone I missed out, you can have an equal part of my Nintendo DS fund. ;o)
*drumroll*

Click the image for a full-sized picture.

Terrible. A disaster. I know.
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KIDDING!
You didn't really think I got Cs in my PMR?? Guess you don't know me that well.
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Click the image for a full-sized picture. Again.
 
Just trying to make light of the situation. Ok, so I didn't get the straight As I wanted, but at least I got the minimum number of As I allowed myself, that is 6. =D Who cares about goddamned BM anyway?
Anyway, congratulations to everyone who got straight As, especially Siew Lei. I KNOW you worked your ass off studying. =) I sit next to you, remember?
And to anyone who didn't get the results they wanted, bleh, PMR isn't all that they make it out to be. *nyeh* Cry and you'll be a sissy above all else.
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Blog idea courtesy of Yi Ling
And I can do fine without Photoshop, thank you. =P Even though there ARE a few stray pixels...
And yeah, that means my will isn't real. Sorry folks! =D

The dumbest invention that made it BIG

Three words. HIGH HEELED SHOES.
Some girls would kill for these 'sexy shoes' as many online sites call them. Why?

1. They make you look taller
2. They make long feet look shorter, and therefore prettier
3. They make you look more feminine

My sister's 3-inch heels


Sure...for the sake of beauty, you guys (girls, actually) are willing to pay a price. A steep one at that.
Sure, you say. You don't mind getting premature athritis, shortened calf muscles, disfigured toes,  knee and back problems, ...as long as you look 'pretty and feminine'? ...really?


Oh, and not to mention, some of you heel-wearers walk as if, sorry to say, you have something sharp jammed up where the sun don't shine.

And modelling my sister's 3-inchers, I bring you...yours truly, Stephanie


Ok, so I don't have the nicest feet around, but I'm just trying to make a point. (By the way, now you know what boys-size-9 feet look like in a size-7 shoe.)


In this picture, you can see my toes scrunched up from the effort of bending over to take a photo. And also, imagine trying to walk up (or down) a staircase with short steps would be like.
Forget escaping a burning building, the fire would be the least of your worries. I predict a huge chance of you falling down the staircase because of these immensely unstable shoes. Then you'd just smash your head over the rail and die of a cracked skull. A really attractive thought, eh?
Oh, God forbid that someone wears flats to a party (or a wedding, in my case). Pah, they don't look as bad as you think.

Yeah, I'm wearing girly jeans, I know. You can stop being excited now.



I for one, like my flats. Simple is nice. Less is more. Yeah, yeah. Some of you say that you wear high-heels because you're short. That's crap. Being tall is highly overrated, trust me. You can be beautiful even if you're short. There's nothing that turns me off more than a person who isn't satisfied with his/her self.

See? I'm pretty too! Don't risk your health for those ugly overrated bitches.

If you're still not convinced, here's something to make you think about wearing heels again. I quote: "Nail problems also are common from the constant pressure of toes being pressed against the end of the shoe. That can cause the nail to thicken and promote the growth of foul-smelling fungus."

If you think boys won't be attracted to you for being short, do you think they will love you for having STINKY FEET? Thought not.

Anyway, if a guy judges you by your height, drop him like he's hot. Or actually, don't drop a boy if he's hot, in that sense. Just...drop him.

Well, you get my point. If your guy is so superficial, you're better off without him anyway. Don't waste your money on stupid dates. Get out there and go (sensible) shoe shopping!

*Shoe info taken from here

All I want for Christmas is...

...my two front teeth?

NOT.

Since Christmas is coming, I thought I'd post this up for the heck of it. Let's see if I actually get any of these for Christmas...

1. Fort Minor's new CD, The Rising Tied. (That took you a while, Mike =P) Plus I want the Bonus Double CD Edition, and it costs almost 60 bucks. So I really hope my mom will take the hint and buy it for me. ;o) Or it'll just make a hole in my pocket.

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2. The Nintendo DS, Candy Pink colour. It should come with a case. Doesn't cost more than 550 bucks, don't get conned.

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3. A new mood ring, unadorned. Finger circumference= 5.7 cm. Not an accurate measurement, though, I used a ruler. Better buy them a tad larger.

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4. A Nightwish album. Any one will do, since I don't have any. I'd prefer Wishmaster though. ;o) But I don't know if Malaysia has Nightwish CDs.

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5. A Crow Left of The Murder, enhanced version, Incubus' most recent album, which I should've gotten months ago, but was saving up for the DS.

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6. Ready or Not, by Meg Cabot. The much-awaited sequel of All-American Girl. The semi-hardcover edition (shiny blue and red cover) would be nice. =D Since I couldn't find a picture of the edition I want, I put the pic of the edition I DIDN'T want. So PLEASE don't buy this edition. =)

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7. Glittery black nail polish. That means glittery black, not glitter, nor black. Since I already have both of those. And no, it isn't morbid. *wiggles toes*

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8. Someone to teach me how to ice-skate. I can pretty much stay upright, but my talent sort of ends there.

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9. Someone to play and enjoy GTA with me. I mean, come ON, I've had this game for almost a month now, and I can't find anyone to play it with me. =( And it's not even my CD, I'm sure Jun Yan will want it back sometime. Actually, he's already asked me for it.

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10. MY PHOTOSHOP CD BACK!!! (Yes Yap, that means YOU. Get your butt over to my house sometime this century, hopefully. And yes, it is my intention to make you feel guilty. =P Oh yeah, Merry Christmas) Ok, so it's a pirated version, but whatever.

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11. Black jeans. Bootcut, size 8, thank you.

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<No. No pictures of Stephanie's haircut allowed. You just have to see it for yourself>

12. A decent haircut. No more Hiroshima-on-a-head please.
Update: I have had a haircut. It's OK, functionable...but how come I'm the only one who seems to think so?

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13. Someone to teach me how to ride a bike. I still have bruises from the last attempt.

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14. Free passes to watch King Kong at the iMax theatre. (Actually, my mom can get this for me any time. So all you have to do is invite yourself over ;o)

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15. Headphones that block out all sound. Earphones are SO unhealthy. Hel-lo germ breeding ground.

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16. Straight As!!! Actually, I don't want the As so much for my 'personal satisfaction', but for the iMac I'll get if I do get it. Straight As, I mean.


Update: No, I did not get straight As. Oh well, there's always SPM.

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17. Belgian Chocolate! Buy this for me and I'll love you eternally. <3

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...and so I conclude my list. =D I doubt I'll get any of them though, since I've been terrible friend and haven't done my Christmas Shopping yet. =P

And yeah, I still owe four people birthday presents. *wince* Ok, since I haven't gotten them for you guys yet, I'll um, give you a special mention in my blog. xD Hey, it's the thought that counts, right?

So, Happy Birthday again to...

*My sis, Denise. =P You were in Australia lah!
*Sabrina. What am I supposed to buy you? A leather thong and a whip? Kidding...
*Siew Lei. Hm, gift ideas, anyone? Maybe one of those nice wristbands I've been eyeing...
*Brandon. Bleh, I'll just buy you chocolate or something. =P

Oh yeah, and...

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18. World peace. Let there be a world where chickens can cross the road unquestioned.

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...seems impossible? Ok, that's fine. Just get me the mood ring then. =D

Gayyyyydar.

I say gay. You think ________?


Happy? Joyous? Delighted?


No duh. I mean gay, you know like lesbians and stuff? Girl-on-girl, guy-on-guy? Ok, ok that's enough.
Anyway, what is your opinion on *searches for word*...homosexuals? I'm just trying to be politically correct, ok? But since when did I care if I was politically incorrect or not? Anyway, homosexual is such a long word, so I'll just refer to them as gays, ok? Don't be mad at me...=(


I for one, support gays coming out of the closet and coming to terms with their sexuality. I mean, it's not like they can help it. Heck no, I don't think they wish for it at all. And I don't think that they can change themselves either. But then, why should they change? They were born that way, and I think it's perfectly ok that they like people of the same gender.


But oh noooo, the society thinks that this is oh-so-wroooong. Well, condemn society. I also know that my mom is very much against homosexuals. Why? Goodness knows. She said that 'There's a reason that God made males and females.' Fine. Fair point of view.


But then, in my opinion, if God didn't like gays, why did He create them at all? Huh? Since He is the omnipotent, He can get rid of these 'impure' thoughts and behaviour whenever He wants, right? But He didn't. So there.


Anyway, *ponders* why should our preference of life-partners be dictated by the fact that we are male or female? So you've got the balls, and that means   Ellen DeGeneres and Portia DeRossi can't get their fair share of females? Unfair.


So, society, grow up. Gays don't harm you in any way, so don't shun them ok? Encourage the sharing and caring. =)


Or at least, shut up.


Go gay pride!

***Note that when I wrote: 'Gays don't harm you in any way,' I haven't considered the extinction of mankind, since there would be no one left to  procreate with. So in other words, other than THAT, gays don't harm you in any way.

Right?
Update: To all of you faithful Christians, or worshippers of any other religion whatsoever, I'M NOT A SATAN WORSHIPPER, OK? Nor am I blinded by Satan's veil. -.-''

Straight As?

With the PMR results coming out this month, almost everyone I know is worried sick about getting their results, hopefully straight As. But why? (Here's the famous 'why' question again) Why do we have to get straight As?


To the teachers: Is it really that important that your students get all As? Do you really care about how we are doing in school? Or is it really your perfect teaching record you are worried about?
To the parents: If we ever fail to get perfect academic results, are we considered as failures? Are we stupid?
To the students: Are straight As really that important? I mean, is a single letter on your PMR certificate going to change your life?
To the society: So, since straight As are so important, should we neglect everything else, and dedicate the rest of our lives studying?


NO.


I mean, this could be me in 5 years time...


In court


Prosecution: Miss Stephanie Yeong, did you, or did you not deal Methamphetamine at your current workplace, that is at McDonalds Kuala Lumpur?
Stephanie: Yes, I did, but...
Prosecution: Also, is it true that you stole RM 1,500, in cash, from the till at McDonalds?
Stephanie: Indeed, I have, but...
Prosecution: And do you, Miss Yeong, admit to the theft of your employer's vehicle on the 12th of July, 2010?
Stephanie: Yes I do, but...
Prosecution: Your Honour, nothing further.
Justice Pao: Miss Stephanie Yeong, I hereby find you guilty of substance abuse, theft and grand theft auto. I sentence you to 5 years in the Tanjung Rambutan rehabilitation center, and a fine of RM 2,000. Do you have anything to say for yourself?
Stephanie: Yes Your Honour, it may please you to know that I, Stephanie Yeong, scored 7 As for my PMR AND straight As for my SPM!
Justice Pao: That is not relevant.
Stephanie: But Your Honour, my teacher said that as long as I score straight As, I will never have trouble later in life one! My parents also said that ah! *proudly holds up PMR and SPM certificates*
Justice <insert name here>: ... ...


Oh really, now how important is your PMR results, huh, HUH?

Sentimental thoughts...

Okay, I admit, I hate sentimental blogs. And here I am writing one (or going to, that is) *smacks self for being a hypocrite*

Today was just another blah day, waking up feeling crummy ,and developing an exasperating sniffle later in the day. I got on the internet again, and I wasn't surprised to see that under my '-view messages' button had (yet again) a bright orange 'new friend reqeusts' sitting there. Rolling my eyes, I clicked on it, thinking "Geez, not ANOTHER one" As expected, the first request was a friend of a friend, whom I don't know at all. Probably another friend collector, eager to show off to everyone how many 'friends' he (she?) has. But the other was, well, someone I haven't seen in a long time.

And you know that someone has to be pretty important to inspire me to blog. (Jangan perasan, Yap. Inspiring is different from harassing, ok?)

Reading her profile made me ask myself, why the heck didn't I keep in touch with my old friends? In fact, I have absolutely no contact with any of my friends from Kuen Cheng OR Chung Hwa. (Except Yap xP Can I help it if she happens to be in the same class?) Anyway, I smacked myself for being such an idiot who wasn't grateful for having so many friends in the past. I saw that this very girl could, in fact, be my twin.

As an example(s):
-She speaks (or types) in perfect English
-She reads and watches (-ed?) Buffy
-Her writing skills knock me out cold, and that's saying something, ya know?
-She has a peculiar interest Emily the Strange, as I, just as bizarrely, do too
-She reads classics (yeah!)
-She listens to frickin' NIRVANA *You go girl, woohoo!*

Out of curiousity, I decided to take a peek at her blog. And man oh man, she is a kick-ass blogger, yes. And not kick-ass in the Kenny Sia oh-so-hilarious sense either. This lass can definitely write. She doesn't spare her feelings the pain of being bloggefied, as I do most of the time. You can tell that she isn't shallow and self-centered like *cough* SOME people are when they blog. (Actually, they are exactly the same in real life too Dx)

If that wasn't enough, you can tell she is something else when I can remember the content of her last letter to me, which sadly, I didn't respond to. That letter in question, is sitting right before my eyes at this precise moment. It kicks off with:

Well, hey Steph!
    This is a letter for you okay? And I wonder why everybody likes to write "dear Shan Wen," (Man, she got her punctuation right)or bla, bla, bla... ...(And the correct amount of dots too) And that's the word they always use while writing a letter, maybe that is "menghormati"... ...

That made me laugh, why DOES everyone start off their letters with 'dear' or 'to'? Why indeed? That's my favourite 'Wh' question by the way, as my parents can attest to. Why? It's a good question, if you think about it. And don't you dare ask me 'WHY is that so?'

Anyway, tucked into a little corner of the letter there is a little box that reads: 

Beware:
And *name censored*'s a LESBIAN NOW!!!

Awesome.
Sounds just like me when I say: "You know what? *name censored* is GAY!!!" <insert glee here>

The letter ends with a conspirational little box in the bottom right-hand corner of the crumples sheet of paper.

(BAD WORDS INCLUDED)
Extra note: *mei you jiang ni* Which means 'I'm not talking about you' in Chinese.
Those FUCKIN' PESSES just simply take this and read, and I wish that I could kick their DAMN ASSHOLE!

<end of letter>

Sweet. Anyway, it's about to rain (big flashes of lightning and thunder included). I'm going to end my blog post right here, before my comp blacks out and this post gets erased (AGAIN. No thanks to you, Shan2).

Thus it ends, the fucking tribute to the girl who taught me how to curse.

J.L.W.Y.

Things To Do Before I Die

As agreed, here's:

Things To Do Before I Die *touchwood*
 
Only strike the *touchwood* part, I'm not superstitious. Ok, let's get down to business. Things to do before YOU die, Stephanie style.

*Walk up to Donald Trump, laugh at him and grab his toupee. Then look up at him with innocent eyes and say 'I'm your HUGEST fan, can you sign this?'

*Buy 10 tickets to watch an extremely popular movie, say HP4. Get the best seats (middle to back row) Then buy lots of popcorn and throw over the movie-goers when Harry gets chased by the Horntail, or when Voldemort appears, or any part you think is exciting. Then right before the usher throws you out, scatter the popcorn over your ten prime seats so that no one else can have them.


*Get a degree in midwifery =O


*Get a couple of friends to ride on a motorbike with you, wearing only your bikinis/speedos while throwing flying kisses to the adoring crowd.


*Give your most hated teacher a world-class wedgie (or if it's a female, flip her skirt in front of everyone during assembly)


*Ride the DNA mixer in Berjaya Times Square and throw up on everyone while you're spinning.


*Go to school in spaghetti straps and a miniskirt, while carrying a huge radio blasting Nine Inch Nails.


*Organize a sleepover and paint your guyfriends' nails shocking pink/baby blue while they're asleep (For girlfriends, you can switch their lip gloss with nail polish. They'll never notice the difference, at least until their lips are glued shut =D)


*Crash your arch enemy's wedding wearing a banana suit.


*Streak during a world peace conference.


*Dress up as a vampire, heavy black trenchcoat and all, then go to the beach and sunbathe, while slowly patting suntan lotion all over your face and hands. Then tell inquiring strangers: "Hey, vampires like to get out once in a while, you know? I even brought SPF 40,000 suntan lotion for the occasion!"


*Make out with a stranger.


*Volunteer to bathe the animals SPCA, then dye the dogs pink with green spots and the cats green with yellow stripes. Then demand payment from the person-in-charge, for your oh-so-beautiful handiwork.


*At your school's 10-year reunion, tell your friends that you've been working on a cure for bird flu, with hands-on experience and all. Then start sneezing and coughing, and then tell your friends that you think "you have come down with /something/."


*At your friend's sister's birthday party, while everyone is enjoying the delicious birthday cake, exclaim loudly: "Ohmygosh! Is that the birthday cake? I'm SO, SO sorry, I couldn't control myself. I kinda sneezed all over it just now while I was in the kitchen!" Then you grin sheepishly at the horrified crowd.


*While watching 'The Ring' with all your friends, preferably at home late at night, use your handphone to call the housephone right after you watch the cursed tape in the movie.


*Open one of those doors at shopping malls where they say "Don't use unless in an emergency" and make the alarms go off. When the security guards ask you, "Don't you understand what the sign means?" You reply, "But it WAS an emergency! I needed to pee!"


*Dress up as a punk, with fake tattoos, kohl and all and parade round your neighbourhood shopping mall. Just when you're attracting the most looks, start singing 'Hit Me Baby One More Time' at the top of voice while shaking your booty like Britney Spears.

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Phew, I have more of these, but frankly, I'm getting bored of typing. Maybe I'll continue another day. DO try some of the above suggestions...or you might just die regretting not doing so. =(
*Yi Ling's version of Things To Do Before I Die can be found here