An entry from the 'useless, rude and disobedient daughter'

You never listen. Never did. Some kind of dad you are.

I studied my ass off for exams so that for once you would stop complaining. In fact, I studied so hard I fell sick. And all for what? For you to tell me 'it's not good enough'? and 'It's all your fault, you didn't study'? So what if I failed Sejarah? You always said that if I'd done my best, it was good enough. Sure, it's good enough for ME. But oh NO, you always have to make me feel so completely horrible and blame me for slacking. What's the point anymore? That's it. that's the last I ever put in any effort for my exams.

Exams are completely irrelevant. I want to do what I love, not study bullshit like who conquered Malaysia or learn Indices and Algebra. When the hell are we going to put these information to use anyway? There is absolutely NO way exams can measure intelligence. Sure, you think who scored the highest in Science or Sejarah is totally smart. Guess what? It's not. What you memorise from text books does not make you smart. What is the point in memorising, let's say, the formula for work, if you don't understand why it is so? If I asked you how to create a blue flame, sure, you would tell me to close the air-hole on the Bunsen Burner. But why? Why does it happen? You don't know.

Anyway, when I fell sick. Guess what dad told me? "It's all your fault. You don't sleep enough. Serves you right for not listening to me." Why wasn't I sleeping? I had work. If I don't do it, I'm considered a slacker. If I do it, I'm considered a useless daughter who likes to disobey my parents and not go to sleep on time. I suffered for a week of a big headache because of the intense heat and you never knew. Why? Because I knew that if I told you that, you'd tell me what you tell me all the time. "It's your fault. You never listen to me." Well guess what? It's not my fault I can't stand the heat. You never listen to me either when I try to explain. I tell you that, and you tell me I'm rude. I try to make my point, you tell me I do that just for the sake of arguing. So what, I'm supposed to take all the shit from you, when you don't understand the situation? Hell no I'm not. So you can scream all you want at me, I'm not just going to sit down and do what you want. I'm my own person. You just don't get that.

Even if I perform better than other people my age, or rather, a year older, my performance is still not up to standard. I tell you that it's considered good, and guess what? "You don't go and compare yourself to all those bad people!" What the hell, I'm not my freakin' sister if you must know. I don't shut myself in my room 8 hours a day and glue myself to reference books. So just shut up and stop comparing me with her. One day, I'm just going to kill myself and let you see what all that education was worth. Nothing. We're all going to die anyway.